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You're sitting in the waiting room with your pregnant cat wife Catra.
She's due any day now. You're here so she can get a last-minute checkup.
<<if not(hasVisited("Magazines"))>>A [[pile of magazines->Magazines]] sprawls across the table in the middle of the waiting area.<<else>>The [[anus magazine|Magazines]] sits atop a stack of magazines. Your cow butthole experience has disillusioned you with the lot of them.<<endif>>
An [[Ikea wall clock|Wall Clock]] hangs near a plastic plant. The [[receptionist|Receptionist]] is playing solitaire on her computer.
<<if hasVisited("Wall Clock", "Magazines", "Receptionist")>>The receptionist clears her throat. "Ms. Meowmeow? The doctor is ready to see you now."<<if hasVisited("Correct Receptionist")>> She glares at you.<<endif>>
//"...Mrs..."// you grumble under your breath.
[[Go to the doctor's office|Water Breaking]]<<endif>>It's 5:15 PM. Or 17:15, as they used to say in the Horde.You kind of miss military time.
[[Back|Beginning]]You pick up <<if visited() == 1>>a magazine called <<endif>>//Eternian Wilderness.// This issue is apparently about species of wild cow. There are some pretty majestic pictures of roaming herds. Aaaaaaand there's an anus. Okayyy. You toss the magazine back onto the table.
[[Back|Beginning]]The receptionist <<if not(hasVisited("Correct Receptionist"))>>stares at you. You get the feeling she doesn't like talking to people.<<else>>glares at you. It's probably because she's too stubborn to admit that you're better at solitaire than her.<<endif>>
You can see her solitaire game over her shoulder. <<if not(hasVisited("Correct Receptionist"))>>You know, she could really stand to move the [[four of diamonds|Correct Receptionist]].<<else>>She's totally fucking up the game, but she refuses to take your advice.<<endif>>
[[Back|Beginning]]You tell her she can move the four of diamonds.
//"I know."//
[[Back|Receptionist]]As Catra stands up, she stumbles slightly.
"Motherfuck."
"You alright, babe?"
"I think my water broke when I stood up."
Oh damn.
"Oh damn."
At least you were already [[heading to the doctor's office|Doctor]]."Hey Adora. Hey Catra." The doctor smiles congenially.
"Hi Doctor."
"Adora, don't call me that."
"Haha, okay Queen Glimmer," you say, grinning.
"First off, I retired to pursue gynecology. I'm not actually the queen anymore. Secondly, I gave you like thirty titles for being She-Ra, so you do ''not'' want to play this game with me."
You smile. You haven't seen each other in ages. Medicine keeps her pretty busy.
Catra's not especially amused. "If you two are done, I think I'm having a baby right now."
"Wait like //right// now, or...?" asks Glimmer.
"Yeah, her water broke thirty seconds ago."
"Well fuck my ass, get onto the table. Fortunately, we've got all the amenities to deliver a baby right here, in my office."
As Catra lays face-down on the exam table, Glimmer [[offers you a chair|Pimples]].
You sit down right next to the examination table.
"I'm gonna need your help with this, Adora. Before we can safely deliver the baby, first we need to lance all of Catra's pimples."
You nod solemnly. Obviously.
She hands you a pair of comically-oversized tweezers.
* <<if ndef $backPimple>>[[Pop the pimple on her back|Pimples][$backPimple to "popped"]]<<else>>A big splotch of pus sits on her upper back.<<endif>>
* <<if ndef $neckPimple>>[[Pop the pimple on her neck|Pimples][$neckPimple to "popped"]]<<else>>A thin stream of pus trickles down her neck.<<endif>>
* <<if ndef $thighPimple>>[[Pop the pimple on her thigh|Pimples][$thighPimple to "popped"]]<<else>>The pimple on her thigh squirts all over your thumb as you pop it. You wipe your hand on your pants and grimace.<<endif>>
<<if not(ndef($backPimple) or ndef($neckPimple) or ndef($thighPimple))>>Now you're ready for the big leagues. Glimmer hands you an even larger pair of tweezers — pliers, if we're being honest — and Catra turns over onto her back, revealing a fat red pimple the size of a mango with a pearly white peak.
[[Pop the giant pimple on Catra's stomach|Stomach Pimple]]<<endif>>
You stand up at the base of the examination table, pliers in hand. You clamp the pliers down on the pimple and squeeze. A huge stream of puss erupts from the pimple, soaking your shirt and making it cling to your stomach. Catra moans.
Blood is rushing in your ears, but you can hear Glimmer urging you to pull. You plant your foot against the edge of the exam table and begin to pull. Catra screams, and Glimmer mops her forehead with a wet cloth.
[[Pull harder|Stomach Pimple 2]]Catra is breathing very heavily. Tears are rolling down her face. Her eyes are red.
Glimmer squeezes her hand. "Get ready to push hard," she says.
You give another big tug, and Catra gasps. You're sweaty all over, but Catra's way ahead of you — she's nearly soaked through her maternity-size sweatpants.
"Just one more good push!" says Glimmer. "Three, two, one, [[push!|Birth]]"Catra screams. You hear a large popping noise, and suddenly the pliars are free.
The force of your leg against the exam table propels you backwards, and you land on your back on the floor. The pliars land in your lap, and your baby lands on top of them.
It's crying, and it has bumpy red pliar marks on its arm.
It has its mother's pointy ears, and its other mother's iconic hair poof.
[[Is it a boy or a girl?|Check its genitals]]Obviously your genitals don't determine your gender, but you've got a brand-new baby and you're desperate to invade its privacy. You pick it up by its ankles and lift it into the air.
[[Pull its legs apart like a cheese string|Check its genitals 2]]It's a girl. Or, you know, maybe it'll decide that being a girl is for suckers and be a guy instead, or something else entirely.
But for the moment, it's too young to know what gender is, and you're gonna stuff it into so many tutus that by the time it turns five it'll hate the colour pink.
Glimmer puts a hand on your shoulder. "You know, two cis women can't give birth to a boy. Neither of them have a Y chromosome to give. You wouldn't have to check if you'd passed highschool biology."
You sneer at Glimmer. "Fuck you, brainwad. I hope you choke on your books."
[[Put the baby in your backpack for later|Check on Catra]]You toss the baby into your backpack and sit back in your chair, next to Catra. She smiles weakly.
"Hey babe."
"Hey Adora."
"Are you feeling okay?"
"Felt better, heh. How's the baby?"
"Looks like it came out alright. Two legs, two arms."
"Is it a boy or a girl?"
"Catra, if you'd passed highschool biology, you'd know it would have been impossible for" — she punches you lightly in the tit.
[[Ow|Leave]]You smile. That's your cat.
You pick up your exhausted wife and sling her over your shoulder. Her head bumps into the baby in your backpack and it starts crying. You sigh and set Catra down in the chair.
[[Shake the bag until the baby shuts up|Shake baby]]You shake the bag until the baby starts snoring softly. There we go.
You //gently// sling your wife over your shoulder, and tiptoe out of the room. Catra winces with every step, as your shoulder bumps into her stomach.
"Bye you two! Lend me your kid some time when you're not using it!"
You smile back at Glimmer and give her a thumbs up. "Yeah, we're going to visit Huntara in the Crimson Waste next week. You can have it then."
You walk down the stares, bumping Catra up and down on your shoulder with every step. She groans in pain and passes out. You laugh softly — even when she's not doing the walking, she always hates taking the stairs.
You arrive in the parking lot.
[[Toss Catra in the back seat|Car]]You toss Catra in the back, and throw your backpack in behind her.
You walk around to the driver's side of the car, and climb in.
The sun is just beginning to touch the horizon.
[[Drive off into the sunset with your wife and your baby|End]]!! The End
[img[domestic_catradora.png]]
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